Saturday, April 25, 2015

Insecurities

Lately I feel like I've been bombarded with insecurities.
Call it that time of the month, but I'm sure things like this don't only occur to me, but to everybody on a daily basis.
.
.
And I just want to say, that it's completely normal.

We all want some form of validation, some form of acceptance, especially when it comes from the people we really care about. This is why it's important to be kind, understanding and choose the right friends that will support you and have your back through the good and the bad.

Friends who love you, laugh with you, but know when to tell you off when you're being a bitch so they can put you in your place.
Friends who give you a shoulder to lean on without being judgmental when you need to cry, and give constructive unbiased advice when you ask for it,
and at the very least share a listening ear when you don't want to hear it and just need to vent.
Someone who doesn't make you feel alone when you're in a room full of people,
Someone who allows you to be yourself.

I have always been the type of person that's generally pretty friendly. I get along with people easily, but it doesn't necessarily mean I trust them with everything that I have. It's not that I'm saying you shouldn't be too trusting, but being naive like that gets you nowhere.

Yes, I am telling you to be picky with who you're friends with.

You don't need anybody who allows you to spiral downwards, because the people who love you will always want the best for you to see you smile. Even when they know you're wrong and being stubborn, instead of getting annoyed or irritated; they'll tell you like it is, but if they KNOW that's what truly makes you happy, they'll be your backbone and support system that will never shake no matter what.

That is when you know you've found the perfect friend(s).

And honestly it's not that hard to find that friend, if you can be that said person yourself.

We need to always see the good in people. Because we're all equal parts good and bad.
But it makes things so much better if we try to understand the reasons people do what they do, or say what they say. Just because your opinions are different, doesn't make either any less valid than the other.

You are beautiful, you are special, and you are unique, so comparing yourself to anybody else,
or focusing on their strengths and emphasizing your weakness is just gonna hamper the rainbow that is in you.

Don't let anyone tell you you're not the red skittle in a bag of rainbows or the pink power ranger, if that's what you choose to be.
Never be bullied into silence, never think that your opinions don't matter.
You are not a shadow, you are that unique individual, the strong sperm that won.

You are special and you can be whoever you want to be.
The only person that should challenge you is yourself, and how you can better improve your OWN strengths to be the best version of yourself that you can possibly be.
You exist, and you're alive. That in itself is something to be thankful for already.

And when you feel low,
Always remember,

You are important.
You matter.

And always know that somebody out there will always love you no matter what you decide to do with your life.

You are loved.

Sunday, January 25, 2015

Who's Your Ride or Die?

Hello.
It's me again.


I'm a little rusty at writing and this may not be my best piece, but I have been thinking about something.

I know that I usually say that I am my own person, with my own morals and principles. I don't usually put too much weight on what people think to make my own decisions because as long as what I'm doing feels right to me and it makes me happy, I think I'm set.

As I get older and see more of the world, I tend to overlook all the other people who's been there in my life from way back when. The ones who used to be my closest friends, my confidantes and the ones that I know will always have my back even as time and distance separates us.

It only took one question to make me rethink everything.
"What's in the future for you? Where do you plan to settle down?"
I know this is unrelated to that question, but it made me contemplate my whole life WHAT exactly it was that's most important in my life.
Was it love? A united family? Lots of money? Friendships that last a lifetime? A plausible career?

Now while all the social interactions listed above go hand in hand, but there's bound to be one that's most important to everyone.

And for me (sorry Mom I love you!), but it's the friendships that I have.

Now before you think I'm being irrational (since blood is thicker than water, love keeps you alive, money gains you power and your job is what stays with you forever etc), hear me out.

Being in my 20s, I've accumulated a great deal of friends from everywhere. Here, 8000 miles away, from school, the little tutoring center I used to frequent, college, work. There are friends I talk to everyday, friends I have only because its convenient, friends I love but have stopped talking to due to time constraint and distance and let's face it, it gets harder and harder to keep friends when life and priorities get in the way.

But let me ask you this.

Who are your REAL friends?

While we all have friends that can be there for us rain or shine, the ones we see everyday and may be part of our daily routine (or as I'd like to call it- the "convenient" friends), only you can decide who actually means the most to you.

I want you to think of a friend. Any friend. Let's imagine the same friend moved to a different country, would you still be close friends? Would their opinions still mean something to you? When you have something you need to let off your chest, does talking to them uplift your spirits and at least make you decide what to do with a bit more clarity (no biasness, no judgement)?

A true best friend is the one with whom you can meet up with after years of not talking and instead of simply "catching up" and updating them on your lives, it's so easy to hold a conversation and before you know it, it's like nothing's ever changed.

They still vividly remember your irrational love for chicken rice, the things you always shout when you get on a road rage and how you break out into a mini rave in your car just 5 minutes after, how you poke holes into your egg yolk to make sure the soy sauce soaks through, that's-what-she-said inside jokes that never get old, how you love your men with sideswept bangs, to the way you let out a little giggle before or after every sentence.

They're the ones who know your most disgusting habits and instead of judge you for it, they encourage you that yes, you do deserve to sneak out of your parents' house on a weekday night when you're heartbroken and feeling lost and yes, burping out loud and breaking out into a musical at an Apple store is very necessary :)


They still know what makes you laugh, what makes you tick, how to push all your buttons and remember the tiniest little details that make you, well, you- despite how much older you've grown or all the new experiences you now have.

Because let's be honest, do we ever feel ourselves changing? We're all the same people, just with new environments and priorities. But it doesn't mean we're not the same people on the inside.

And when life gets hard, who are your numero uno people to go to for moral support? The ones who you know will have your back no matter how far time and distance separates you? The ones who truly know what's best for you?

The best friendships do not always come easy. I'm guilty of having my own little bubble and misleading people into thinking they mean more to me than they really do, but as I like to say, the ones who persist and manage to get in my bubble are the friends I trust for life. They're the ones who I'll always look up to and love no matter how far life takes me. This is why to impress me, you gotta make sure my friends love you first ;)

Friendships also take maintenance. It's easy to take them for granted once life gives you new priorities and things to worry about, but I'm the type of person who'd rather save my friends than save money because at the end of the day, everything we do in life is to be happy. And while money can't buy happiness, my best friends make me richer than everybody else.


And this is why, my handful of significant best friends will always be my top priority. More than my lover, more than money, more than school. As I mention this, can you think of your friends who are now basically family?

Who are your ride or dies? 

I have found mine, and I hope that you have too.

And to my best friends, whether I've posted a picture of you here or not,
I love you. Thank you for being in my life and making this cruel beautiful world just that much easier to live in.

xoxo
Syara