If you're a 90's kid, you'll remember back in the Myspace days (or early Facebook?) where we'd fill out a ton of questionnaires and pass it on to people, because it's fun to learn things about ourselves and our friends. Today, I bumped into 20 questions online that supposedly reveals your identity and the type of person you are. In general, my life is an open book. I like to keep fun things about myself public, unless it is something very personal that should be kept classified :)
I am pretty ecstatic to fill this in and share with the world who I am as a person, especially now in the grim aftermath of the American presidential election. It's so important to remember who you are and what makes you special--regardless of what might change in the next 4 years.
Here goes! ** pink font for TLDR. 1. What’s your life motto, or philosophy you live by?
My life motto is"you never know until you try. If you don't ask, you'll never get what you want."
I am not the type of person who leaves my destiny to fate. There is no hoping or wishing for something to happen, you have to go out and make it happen. While fate may play a part on who you cross paths with, it is up to you to write your own story.
Have a job you're interested in? Ask. Have a guy you're crushing on who you think might possibly like you back? Ask. Is someone mad at you? Ask. I don't believe in stressing yourself out about what people think without actually asking them personally, or assuming the worst which then causes unnecessary drama. The world would be much better if you communicate. You will get what your heart desires when you voice it out. I believe this is why I'm meant to be a communication major. It truly intrigues me what motivates people to think the way they do.
2. What’s your favorite thing about yourself?
I believe this relates to my motto. I'm a go-getter. I'm that person who would have dreams so big that I'd literally jump on a plane and fly 8000 miles away from home to chase after that dream. (<-- this actually happened!).
I may be small, standing at only 4'10" tall-- but I want to change the world for the better. One little step at a time, one smile at a time. I want to be someone who inspires, someone who makes people smile and feel like they can always do better, regardless of their circumstance. After all, the only thing stopping you from what you want is not other people, it's your belief in yourself.
3. Do you follow a religion or spiritual practice?
I believe in God, yes, but I also do believe that religion separates. It's like telling you to choose a team, and then ganging up on other teams because suddenly you're better than everyone else. Yet every religion just teaches you to follow a set of guidelines to be a good person. If we all just try to be good, decent human beings and accept eachother regardless of what their spiritual beliefs are, I think we can create a more loving and understanding world.
No more doing hateful acts and saying "This is for Allah!" "This is for Jesus!". Always thank God for the things you achieve in life, but never, NEVER perform discriminatory acts and use it in the name of God. I guess that's what I believe in.
4. What was the best time of your life?
To be honest, I believe the best time of my life was in Grade 12, back in my Canadian school in 2011/2012. That was where I learnt so much about who I was, who I wanted to surround myself with and for the first time in my life, had the biggest support system.
For my parents who chose the perfect education they thought I'd be happiest in, for my friends who's stayed by my side even today after we've all separated to different parts of the world for college, for my family who's always been proud of me, and all the skills I've learnt from my teachers that shaped my interest and skills in video production and communication to this very day. Also, to the guy I met who changed my life, who taught me how to love and to care for someone more than I do myself. We've been together and still going strong for 5 years now.
I will never forget <3 2012 was the best year of my life! I am truly, truly thankful.
5. What was the worst thing that ever happened to you?
This is easy. I believe the worst thing that's ever happened in my life was back in Fall 2015. Lorenzo Apartments. It was fairly recent, to be honest. It was the year I got accepted into my dream school USC, but it was also the worst because I moved into Lorenzo, a dorm affliating themselves with USC, but isn't actually by USC.
I had an emotional trauma and suffered depression from mean roommates because of Lorenzo's money-making mindset. At the time, I didn't know anyone from USC and moved to Lorenzo because I wanted to be able to make friends since you had to be a USC student to live there. However, Lorenzo promoted a culture where the roommates can bully you into paying $450-$500 to the management if you wanted to move to a different unit. This benefits them because your previous roommate would be left with the entire supposed shared room to themselves while only paying half the rent still.
**This story will be long because I'm ultra passionate when I talk about it-- but feel free to skip on to the next question!
My story is.. they matched me with the wrong person on purpose when I clearly wrote on the questionnaire that I was clean, all three of the roommates I've been paired with were dirty slobs.
1. The first one told me I'd get a third roommate aka her boyfriend who lives there illegally without the lease--she talked about smoking a lot and partying a lot and just made it and overall uncomfortable situation.
2. The second one was hippie-dippy and walked around half naked with boobs the size of my head. Her bed would be piled with boxes, trash and half eaten food, that she ends up sleeping in the living room. She'd turn on her music so loud, and type on her phone without it being on silent and laugh out loud by herself at 2 am in the morning with the lights on, even if I've turned it off to sleep. She'd pile up the plates and
3. Which then moved me to my third roommate, who was by far the worst. She was bipolar and crazy. She wouldn't tell people her name, and wouldn't talk to anyone. She'd sit in her own little corner and listen to horror movies late into the night, not allowing me to sleep with her bright lamp shone against my face. She'd set little traps in the room and threatened to sue me for every little thing I touch (e.g. turning off her alarm when she was in the bathroom). Speaking of the bathroom, have I said that she'd run to the bathroom when my alarm rings for me to wake up, and stay in there for 3 hours causing me to be late to school? She'd do weird things like push all of our food in the fridge to the side leaving an empty space (what is the reason for this?), practiced witchcraft and left weird smelling cups of water underneath my bed when I'm not home, steal things, eat our food. Yup. She was a big bully and this wasn't even half the things she's done. She's had murderous tendencies, which caused me to want to put cameras in my room. Our apartment mediator told me to tread carefully when talking to her because apparently she'd bipolar-- well then WHY WOULD YOU MOVE ME INTO HER UNIT IN THE FIRST PLACE??
That was the worst year because I'd go to school at 8am and stay till 2am because I was afraid to go home. I planned to join more clubs in school but didn't because I was scared all USC students would be mean to me. I missed the deadline to join sororities and it seemed like everyone had their own group of friends. I got clingy with my friends from my previous school and was crying everyday because I couldn't go home. I even had to talk to a therapist. I lost a lot of money that year trying to get out of my lease, it left a huge dent in my education funds and had to take big loans this year to finish USC.The repercussions so big that it carries on to this present day.
It was a very difficult time for me, but I am thankful that because of that, I have my own apartment and amazing friends that are nice and supportive. They helped me get out of that funk the second I moved out. It really goes to show that things will have to spiral before they get better. Things have to be horrible before you appreciate what you have or will receive in life after the rain.
And if you're going through a tough time, I need to remind you that you are always loved by someone, somewhere. You are not alone. You never are, never were and never will be. Never give up. (Plus it couldn't be any worse than what I had to face!)
6. What’s your biggest dream?
To be completely honest, I've always wanted to be a YouTuber. I wanted to film myself, and edit videos that are fun. I wanted to let my voice be heard for positivity, and this was the easiest platform I could think of to get there. Now don't get me wrong, my motivation is not to be famous like a Kardashian, but merely so I can spread more positivity and creativity in a world that I believe needs constant reminding of kindness and being good.
Being in LA has definitely been a great exposure to the world of social media, just like how I've always hoped. However, life got in the way and I was a full time student and just never quite had the time to make videos like I intended to.
Somewhere between the depression from Lorenzo, I also lost sight of what I wanted in this world. I put all my efforts into going through the motions so I can graduate and finally apply to BuzzFeed and make videos for a living. But now that I am better, I realize that I shouldn't leave my fate in the hands of going to school and looking forward for Friday's. I should start today.
Every day is another opportunity to take classes that makes me feel excited to go to school. Yeah I may have had a huge bump in the road, but it isn't yet the end. If I want this and if I wanted to truly be happy doing it, I should not make excuses and actually start today.
Kind of why I'm re-posting in this blog, I guess? Got to start somewhere!
7. What did you want to be when you were a kid?
I wanted to be a princess. However my reason is not super generic, to wear pretty dresses and have a prince come save me. That's not it. My definition of being a princess when I was younger is ruling a country, kind of like a president would. I wanted to be the voice of reason, I wanted pink buildings and for more people to love cats. And for what it's worth, I still do. I still am a dreamer and a visionary (minus the pink buildings!)
Halloween is my favorite holiday. and I still like playing dress-up. Every year, my favorite costume is still to be a princess. I was both Belle from Beauty and the Beast and Princess Anna from Frozen this year. I also window shop tiaras at Disneyland's Main Street for the fun of it. I probably wouldn't pay $40 for it though ^_^
8. What was/is your biggest accomplishment?
Mm, I believe it's the fact that I'm a staff volunteer for Anime Expo. I grew up watching anime, although I wouldn't exactly call myself a weeb. I admit I don't know every single anime that exists, and if you asked me something other than what was mainstream, I'd probably say I don't know it. However, I felt like, as someone with no experience and no contacts whatsoever, I was surprised to even get a callback. From there, I found not just a rekindled passion, but also a family who supports and loves me. I've stayed with them for three years, and oooh if I could make this my permanent job, I definitely would.
So to find something quite like them, with a little more permanence, I looked into Nickelodeon. I love cartoons, and it just seemed like the perfect place to do an internship. Who knows if I'm lucky I might not only be a YouTuber someday but also work with Nickelodeon. That would literally be the dream!
9. Why do you think we’re all here?
I believe our purpose is to keep each other company. I could think of it and contemplate for hours, but let's be honest. Humans thrive on interaction. I believe we are all here to love and support one another. And from there, to bounce ideas off eachother and that is how our civilization was born. The human empire was made. It hasn't stopped, and it will keep going throughout our generation. That's why we have so many intelligent people today :)
10. What was your best relationship?
I respect all my relationships equally. I even had an almost relationship before my current one that is very dear to me. But if you asked me which is best, it definitely would be my present relationship. There's a reason we've been together this long! While we have a lot of disagreements and sometimes I wonder if we're compatible with our different views on everything, but there is a reason we've been together this long. Our differences compliments the other.
Do you believe in horoscopes? I'm an air sign, which means I dream a lot. He's an earth sign, so he makes me grounded when I fly too high. He brings me home when I get lost. He's my pillar when I feel like breaking, as is he my pillar when I'm not strong. And while people think our signs may not be compatible, it just goes to show how strong we are that we've lasted this long, over religious differences and long distance, but also the fact that we're at different points of our lives. All the difficulties that we've defied together makes this relationship so, so special to me!
11. If you could change one thing about the world, what would it be?
I think it's for more people to educate themselves. Because with education comes love, empathy and compassion. It is without education that people act uncivilized and I feel like optimistic and positive people with all around good vibes are so so important for the world to grow!
12. Do you like your job? If not, what would you like to do instead?
If you count Anime Expo and event planning my job, yes. I love it. Completely! But I also get to be a student in my dream school. USC used to be just an unreachable dream for a girl from a small bean shaped country across the globe. While it had it's turmoils in the beginning, I stood my ground like a trooper. Being here makes me feel so thankful for our strong Trojan pride and connections. One time, I got to park at a $20 parking lot in Downtown LA for free, just because I was wearing a USC sweater. I'm so, so happy. I did it, Ma! :D 13. What are your favorite hobbies?
Playing video games. Pondering life, reflecting on my actions and decisions and trying to think of ways to be a better me everyday. <-- deep! Yelping places for food. Hanging out with my friends. Petting my cat? Editing videos and brainstorming ideas. Why do people get too lazy to brainstorm? It literally is a game to me. I love it!
14. If money was no object, what would you do in life?
I'd build a house for cats next to my house, and save as many feral cat's lives as I possibly can. Everybody loves dogs, but people don't often think about cats that also need love. Especially when they're older and may have been tainted by previous owners and aren't cute like kittens anymore. People often associate cats with being mean, fat and hissy. But with proper care, they are honestly the most lovable creatures. Plus they're relatively a lot easier to take care of. If I could save them all, I would! Call me crazy cat lady! =^w^=
P.S. this is besides giving my fam a good life, but really, isn't that everybody's dream with money? I'm trying to be original ^_^
15. Have you ever broken someone’s heart?
I'm not sure. Maybe, without ever intending to. But I always make my intentions clear and don't lead people on. I feel like I tend to get my own heart broken trying to make people happy rather than the other way round. But that is okay. It's made me stronger, and showed me that I know how to love. Getting your heart broken is another lesson learnt and it is what teaches you that you have the capacity to love deeply :) <3
16. What are you thankful for?
Ooh, I've accidentally answered this above ^
17. What do you wish people understood more about you?
Most of the time, as much as I am friendly, it takes a while for someone to get into my bubble. But once they are, we can stop talking for a long time, but it doesn't change what they mean to me. I wear rose-tinted glasses most of the time for the people in my bubble. So if I was really busy, please don't think that I'm ignoring you on purpose. I'm not a great multi-tasker, so I tend to put 100% in a project and forget that I have texts unanswered until I'm done with whatever I was up to.
18. If you could turn back time and do anything differently, would you?
Right now with Trump winning, as much as I am so proud and have achieved so much here in America, I don't know if I still have a place. I've made great friends that I know will last a lifetime, yet I wonder had I followed my Canadian education path, would my future still be uncertain like it is now? Would they call a student with big dreams something so discriminatory like "just another immigrant, a legal alien?" just because of their international status? Shouldn't that be looked up upon, someone with a global educational background?
I just want to be accepted for who I am, and not be rejected because of my roots or where I came from. I'm proud of being a Malaysian. I don't need to be a citizen, I just want good vibes. I want people to see and love me for who I am and how hard I work for what I have, and not just put me a box and categorize me based on where I come from. You may have grown up in Missouri, but you moved to Los Angeles and now you call yourself an Angelino for years later. What's the difference?
I guess that's my current regret. Not knowing if I'm worth something more the longer I'm here. To be fearful of the newly appointed leader of my favorite country that I've grown to love and have been so proud of. Would I have had a better life in Canada or Malaysia? California is still so accepting, but what about visa issues with America in general to stay in California? In a flash, why do I feel like an outsider overnight? Before this, I'll be completely honest. I had no regrets. Now I just have so many questions I can't answer. And neither can anybody else.
19. What’s the craziest, or most exciting thing you’ve ever done?
Ah, so many!! But I think it must be traveling and all the adventures to all the new places. I can't list it all right now, but there's just so many I can barely choose! Probably when I won first runner-up for a Just Dance competition at PMX--an event I went to alone back in 2014 without knowing anyone. I went in headfirst and didn't just win a competition, but I also won friends I still keep to this day. Going somewhere you've always wanted to alone isn't always a bad idea. I've learnt that multiple times throughout college!